Not Happy about DIVORCE

I have so many mixed thoughts, ups and downs, sleepless nights.  I need to talk about it, but it hurts too bad, so today I decided to blog about it...

I love my husband so much, I never imagined us to part, I saw us as a happy family that would continue to multiply and grow together...

My love for him is like no other.  The love for our boys is of course non stop and ever lasting as it should be.  My question is why can I not stop loving *him* and desiring him in my life.  I suppose this is mourning the loss of my marriage....

Divorce had to happen -- I no longer felt safe for myself or my children -- he yelled at me to leave and I finally did....  Why can't I *get it*..  Why have I not embraced DIVORCE..  The word itself makes me skip a heartbeat -- I don't want it to happen.  I want to fix him and have the life I loved so much... 

The bad memories are there, I hate to bring them up because it hurts so bad, but that is the only way I can remind myself that being with him does *hurt*....  I remembered just this past year -- he missed our oldest sons bday (ended up missing all of the 3 boys bdays).  We drove across country to CO as a family -- I had a blast, he blew up when we arrived in OH and said the trip was miserable bc the kids and I came.  On my birthday, he handed me a phone for our oldest son, it was a flawed phone he used - I looked through it and found NUMEROUS pictures and videos of HIM having sex with other women -- most were recent...  I knew the marriage was over -- as he had cheated before... He would always threaten to leave/never see the boys again and somehow make me feel like it was completely my fault.  

We did begin to talk and he promised to get therapy again (he always did pretty good with therapy- ok one out of the 3 he saw...) He went back to CO for a bachelor trip of a friend.  When the wedding came around I was so excited bc this would be our *first date* post the recent issues -- He ignored me most of the week (keep in mind we were living apart).  Then I was without power bc of a storm -- for a week -- I begged him to let the kids and I come to stay with him and he refused.  FInally after the wedding he told me *All of the other guys that went on the bachelor trip with me have fit beautiful wives and I didn't want you to embarrass me*

So what the heck is wrong with me??  I shouldn't want any kind of life with him -- The only reason I am staying away is because the kids fear him (as I do)...  I still want to help him and make him better -- he needs help!

Bananas on your skin!

http://naturesnurtureblog.com/2012/07/01/treat-acne-other-skin-conditions-with-banana-peels/

My 7 year old son and I just read this, he immediately tells his 5 year old brother, who goes and says * I will hurry up and eat a banana* now they totally self initiated rubbed banana peels on their skin to help with their very very dry itchy skin we have been experiencing since we moved her to VA!

I will also try and overnight banana treatment.  Funny story I once painted my house, up until the last minute (as the renters were moving in).  My brother Jon and I were working non stop for like 34 hours and I was so tired I rubbed my banana peel on my face, it felt good and refreshing and made my skin feel moist and super soft, now I am sharing this link with him and will got leave on a banana skin treatment!

Make Your Own Neosporin!

I came across this today and thought this was a great idea and we have most of the ingredients on hand!



Natural Neosporin

Thanks to Mrs. Happy Homemaker!

https://www.facebook.com/MrsHappyHomemaker

Am I crazy?

I fell in love with this house *The OZ*......  well it took 5 months of craziness to finally get the loan and have the home in our name!!!  

That happened on Dec 21, the week before Christmas no doubt!

The place was a mess to say the least, dirt and dead bugs filled it up! Vacant for 3 years we knew it would be a challenge, BUT I do **love** a challenge! 

I thought we would just be cleaning, a few projects at a time, but I was wrong!

One month later an extra 20K on the house, still finding crap that scares me to death!

Since we have been here almost everyday is a new problem!  I can't do it all, I barely can try! 2 new roofs, driveway has been worked on twice.  We couldn't even walk around the entire house because of the briers! 

I hoped to be posting about fun lil projects, Right now the floor has to be removed in my master bathroom, along with the entire side of that wall, the entire part of the other part of the house!  We have found snake skins; all the attic crawl space insulation had to be removed, area cleaned, sealed, and new insulation replaced!

The washer had a few minor repairs my husband fixed after 50 loads I thought all was well, but NO I can home yesterday to a laundry room lake!!  The contractors can't even figure out where the drain is supposed to empty too!  

I moved here after a shaky year in marriage to say the least.  I am homeschooling my 3 boys, trying to save as much money as possible, and direct all of our workers...  and now *sign* my MIL is coming for a few months, maybe for good....... I just want to relax, do crafts, and enjoy my boys!  

I am hoping that one day that will happen!!!!!!   There is a reason God put us here!!!!! 

I must say goodbye to........ diet coke

I don't know why I fell in love with you diet coke.  I began drinking you with my grandmother Josephine at a very young age and I was hooked, then my other grandma, then I finally converted my mother.....  What I *thought* was good, is my ENEMY!

I no longer want you for you make me burp and bloat,
You don't even taste good not even in a ice cream float!

You make me nervous and angry,
I don't want that I want to feel calm and free!

Heart palpation's and murmurs are some,
of the displeasure's that have come!

Your chemicals harm me,
They even cause my acne!

Without I am healthy, I loose weight,
but then i see you and put on 8!

I love my skin without you, it is clear and nice,
My addiction to you is like rolling the dice!

This shall be the last day, the last day,
I cannot let pop take away my ray!

I want to be healthy, I exercise and eat Kale,
So you damn bottle of diet coke go to Hell!


ahhhhh I feel like I can do it now!

I want to make mulch~~~!

Ok, we just bought a new home (well new to us) that is located on about 2 acres with lots and lots of trees and brush!  At some point the previous owners piled up several piles of wood and now there are many large trees that **need** to be taken down -- so what to do with it?  I have been burning a little everyday -- not making much progress and it is hard on my lungs...  So what if I rent or buy a wood chipper and made my own? I plan on having gardens and some are already established.  What do you think?  Any ideas?  Anyone ever used a wood chipper or have one for sale?

I found this article by Varanasi Estate in Australia very helpful :)

How to make your own mulch

The Problem with the Asian Lady Beetle!!!!

So I have been gardening for several years and trying to distinguish the beneficial lady bugs and the non beneficial ones.  So the lady bugs that swarm inside your home in the fall (at least in WV) these are the Japanese Lady Bugs --

We just moved in our new home in The Plains VA and began painting the interior -- to find a HUGE lady bug nest, these are the Japanese or Asian Beetles -- the found their home inside our walls.  The main reason they came inside was because the previous owners did not appropriately place the siding on the wall, therefore not only did we have ladybugs but now we are replacing a whole side of our home because the wood was wet!!!!

More were found when the roof was being replaced!

The neighbors still see lady bugs and *Stink Bugs* -- the stink bugs feed on the lady bugs, so I think we will be fighting this battle for awhile inside and out!

Here is an article that I found helpful to describe the Japanese Lady Beetles!

http://www.ca.uky.edu/entomology/entfacts/ef416.asp

Here are some pics of our issues

This picture our contractor just tapped on the wall and it caved in, the lady bugs ate the dry wall!

 Below- The nest covered this entire area.....  1000s of them!

Odd ways...

I find it odd that I find unusual items in my husbands apartment that belongs to his roommate... my dh agrees his roomy chooses to obsess on somethings like keeping the porch light off to save power while keeping most of the house lights on super bright when he its home at night. 
The roomy is totally a hypochondriac!!  I feel like I am at a pharmacy with a drug and a natural cure for everything, but most are out dated at least by 8 years!! If I lost a finger he has something for it.  Common cold.. Heck there probably is a room dedicated to that!!! I see the spray to prevent air Borne germs, I am sure he was first to buy.
He drinks only filtered water but never changes the filter.... The guy purchases organic healthy food (cool) but lets it go bad, moldy, and doesn't their it away! He complains if anyone cooks because it makes a mess but yet I just mopped the floor and had to change the water every 2.feet!

 pop -- for ever sitting here

 many many meds!

 but all expired!!!

 what the heck -- in the fridge>

 moldy pickles ---- eeeewwwwww

 seriously??  save a tooth!!!!

 BOOZ are the most normal thing I have found!

 what the heck is this in the freezer -- I told Jon please do not add items to the freezer!

So now we are soooo glad that Jon does not live there anymore, we are very thankful our family is together again and we don't have to deal with other peoples oddness under our roof  on a daily basis that is :) 

Meeting new people with an old recipe

Wow - so much has CHANGED, the story of my life! One thing is constant for holiday get togethers, well any pot luck, one recipe stands out -- artichoke dip!  It sure was a hit last night as we attended a New Year's Eve potluck at the church next year, meeting many people for the first time (we just moved here 12/21/12)!

So my youngest brother Jon is 13 years younger than me, I recall introducing him to artichoke dip when I was around 17-20...  I always thought he was going to be a gourmet chef in Paris or such because he has always had such good techniques in the kitchen and very good at creating!  He is a education/music major so there is a change he will still be a gourmet chef :)  So he tweaked my basic recipe and here it goes....

We make a lot because we have lots of family and it goes fast!

Ingredients:
Dip

2 cups of mayonnaise
1 cup of sour cream
1 cup of cream cheese
(yes all the above are full fat!)

2 cups of shredded mozzarella (1/2 c for top)
1/2 cups of shredded Parmesan (the fresh shredded)

2 cans of artichoke hearts
2 cans of heart of palm
Optional:  1 cup of chopped spinach (for those that love green like me)

Bread
1cup of real butter
1tbs of garlic powder
1tbs of italian seasoning
1/2 c Shredded Parmesan
2 loaves cocktail bread 1 loaf of rye and 1 loaf of pumpernickel

Preparation -
Preheat oven to 425
Mix the mayo, softened cream cheese, and sour cream in large bowl.
Add cheese and mix well
drain well and chop small the artichokes and palm of heart, add, mix well
add spinach if desired (or I did mine for 1/2)
sprinkle 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese atop

Place in baking dish -- I use a large square 12x12 or you can use a standard size cake pan
Place in oven for about 40 min until cheese browned
lay cocktail bread on cookie pans
melt butter,
add seasonings,
drizzle atop all bread, flip to drizzle other size if desired,
top with shredded parmesan
back until just barely browned about 10-12 minutes along with the dip.

Serve warm :) Although it is great cold too :)

Rum Runner Recipe

I lived in the USVI for awhile and while I was there, I tasted many wonderful drinks of the island!  I am not drinker, nor ever really was, but in St. Thomas the rum was cheaper than good water!!!  I am trying to remember all the wonderful tastes of the islands I experienced as I am about to go to a formal party with my husband and theme has something to do with a *cruise*.....  

RUM RUNNER

1 1/2 oz Cruzan Coconut rum
1 oz Blackberry brandy
3-4 oz Orange juice
3-4 oz Pineapple juice
3-4 oz Cranberry juice

Mix all ingredients in glass & add ice.